“Hit Me Alice!”

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Before the days of iPhones recording every instance of our lives, before we lived in fear that every comment made would end up on some social media platform posted out of context and reacted to with frothing outrage, back in the days when an insult amongst good friends was nothing more than a way to enjoy a laugh at the expense of their sporting misery…

…back then, when a guy hit his putt well short of the hole, it was only natural, and somehow expected, that someone in the party would wind up their squeakiest voice possible, and in a half whisper say, “hit me Alice”… as though the ball were communicating directly with the person that just blew the shot.

Normally this comment came from one of the other “smart mouthed” men but it was somehow even funnier when one of the women golfers was the one throwing shade (yes, we golfed with our wives… I’m talking about the period in time right after we stopped clubbing them over the head but before Zuckerberg was old enough to wear a hoodie).

Fast forward to current time and I find myself in a similar situation off the golf course but on the sand courts playing volleyball in a semi-competitive league. As a person standing a few inches over 6 feet, combined with a long wingspan, it’s only natural that I’m expected to spike the ball aggressively when I’m playing at the net.

In reality, I use the term “spike” loosely because more often than I should admit, I’ll get a perfect set, nice and high and just a foot back from the net… but I’ll hit it a bit “soft”, in a way that has me expecting to hear a high, squeaky voice whisper, “hit me Alice”.

The truth is, I “can” hit the ball much harder, and I would get more dramatic “kill” shots, but I know that I would also put more balls into the net and / or hit more balls out of bounds. And my “soft kill” shots still work most of the time because the other team still has a hard time “digging” the shots defensively. Just not as often as if I were to hit them harder.

But statistically I know that hitting the ball “soft” wins more points than hitting the power kill shot because my “soft” shots are always in-bounds and always clear the net.

The same thing happens in baseball when you have a “home run” hitter versus the “single / double” hitter. The “home run” guy always has a lower batting average and strikes out more often than the guy hitting singles and doubles.

When you look over the course of the season, you’ll typically find that the “home run” hitter is making headlines but the “single / double” guy is winning games.

It all comes down to percentages and doing more activities that have high percentage rates of success versus activities with low percentage rates of success. The percentages always catch up to you and are always going to lead to winning or losing more games over the course of the season.

Sure, everyone will remember that dramatic, come from behind, home run in the bottom of the ninth inning but over the course of time, the “single / double guy” is going to be the one to carry the team through the playoffs and into the championship games.

SocrPro was developed because we know that smarter players, learning to do more high percentage activities and fewer low percentage plays, will be happier players that win more games.

Better positioning, fewer long balls straight up the middle, more back side attacks and simply learning what’s working and what’s causing turnovers will combine with the player’s existing talent and training effort to put more X’s in the “Won” column and fewer in the “Loss” column.

That’s something even “Alice” will love!

PS No “Alices” were injured or killed during the creation of this story and I’m absolutely certain that in this new age of social enlightenment this “highly inflammatory insult” is no longer used by anyone under any circumstances.

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